This month's words were dog, ice cream sandwiches, and health!
“Uh oh, Suze, the doctor said that your blood sugar is too high!” Molly said. “Looks like we will need to change your diet.”
Molly patted Suze gently on her midnight-black head before walking into the kitchen with Suze’s medicine.
“No more of those stinky cat treats,” Ralph teased. “Guess all of the treats will be for me from now on.”
Ralph wagged his tail and trotted after Molly into the kitchen. He stuck his long, brown nose onto the counter. It was his way of asking for a treat.
“Oh, no, Ralphie. If Suze has to go on a diet, I think we all should! We will be one healthy family together!” Molly gave Ralph an ear scratch and turned to the pantry.
“No more kitty treats for Suze,” Molly announced. To Suze’s horror, Molly tossed the salmon pink bag of kitty treats into the Drawer of No Return.
“No!” Suze meowed loudly. “I love those treats!”
“No more dog treats for Ralph,” Molly sighed. She tossed the Pupperoni bag into the Drawer of No Return.
“No!” Ralph barked. “Look what you’ve done, Suze!”
“And no more sharing ice cream sandwiches,” Molly sang, taking a step towards the freezer.
“No! Not the ice cream sandwiches,” Ralph whimpered. “Please, mommy, not the ice cream sandwiches.”
Molly held the box of ice cream sandwiches in her hand as she scanned the kitchen. She couldn’t put them in the Drawer of No Return and she didn’t want to throw them away.
“I guess we can hang onto these until our health improves,” Molly said. “They can be our treat once Suze is healthy again.”
Molly tossed the ice cream sandwiches back into the freezer. She set a large bag of dog food down on the floor next to Ralph. The bag said Healthy Living Natural Dog Food – Chicken and Oatmeal.
“Oatmeal! Blech!” Ralph coughed. “This isn’t fair! You’re the one that’s sick. Why should I get punished?”
Suze rubbed her head along Ralph’s jaw, her white paws dancing on his toes.
“Looks like you just have to copy everything I do,” Suze purred. “Just like the time you used my bathroom.”
“That was one time!” Ralph barked. “Not to mention, it smelled like fresh laundry. I couldn’t allow that!”
Suze smiled. She loved to get Ralph worked up. It was her favorite form of entertainment. Suze slinked away into the living room to prepare for her evening bath.
“It’s not fair,” Ralph groaned to himself, laying his head on his favorite couch pillow. “I shouldn’t be punished for this.”
Ralph moped around the house for weeks. Sometimes, he even turned his nose up to the oatmeal food. While this did get him more belly rubs, Molly was still worried about Suze. Suze loved the attention, but only for a few minutes. She didn’t like it when her fur was too messy.
“Enough is enough,” Ralph grumbled to himself. “Something needs to change.”
The next morning, Molly quietly placed Suze in her carrier.
"We will be back soon, Ralphie. Be a good boy!” Molly shut the door behind her.
Ralph watched Molly get into the car from the window. He waited for a little while to make sure she wouldn’t turn for something she forgot. She often forgot things, like Suze in her carrier. That was one of Ralph’s favorite days!
Once Ralph was sure Molly wasn’t coming back, he trotted into the kitchen. His first order of business was the Drawer of No Return. But how to get inside?
Ralph looked around the kitchen and spotted one of Molly’s chairs. Ralph had seen Molly climb on top of the chairs to get weird things from the higher shelves. If he could nudge the chair over to the drawer, he would be tall enough to reach inside.
He pushed the chair with his nose as hard as he could. It moved a few inches at a time. He didn’t think it would be so heavy!
“This is taking forever,” Ralph thought.
When the chair was close enough to the drawer, he jumped to the seat and tugged the handle with his front teeth. The treat bag sat just under a few odd objects that Molly had tossed into the drawer over the past few weeks. Pens and receipts dropped to the floor as Ralph dug for the treat bag.
“Success!” Ralph jumped down from the chair and ran into the living room. He nudged the bag under his dog bed and returned to the kitchen.
This time, he turned his attention to the freezer and considered his options. Would he get caught if he went through with it?
“Not if I’m careful,” he assured himself.
He tugged on the hand towel hanging from the freezer door with all his might. The door swung open with a quiet SCHWOOP. The ice cream sandwiches sat on the top shelf, waiting for him to dig in. He climbed up into the freezer, but the first shelf fell under his weight. A few bags of frozen veggies spilled out onto the floor.
Ralph panicked. There was no turning back now. He had to get the ice cream sandwiches. This time, he jumped up onto his hind legs and tried to grab hold of the white and blue box. Instead, his head bumped the ice dispenser and sent large cubes all over the floor. The sound of their icy goodness hitting the tile made Ralph leap with excitement! He loved ice! He licked every piece he could find off the floor, then turned back to the freezer. How was he going to reach the ice cream sandwiches?
The chair! Ralph started to feel nervous. It had taken too long to get the treats. He needed to move quickly. He nudged and nudged until, finally, the chair was close enough for Ralph to reach the ice cream sandwiches. He jumped onto the chair, then jumped up onto the top shelf of the freezer. His teeth were around the white and blue box when he heard the key in the lock.
Ralph jumped down and sprinted into the living room. He curled himself up on his bed as tight as he could and pretended to be asleep.
“Ralph! Good news! Suze’s blood sugar is back to normal! Let’s have an ice cream sand…” Molly’s voice trailed off as she made her way into the kitchen.
“Oh my gosh! What happened?” Molly cried.
“Ralph?” Suze called. She sounded only a little concerned. “Are you okay?”
Suze hopped out of her carrier and ran to the living room. A sense of relief washed over her when she saw Ralph sitting on the ground.
Molly surveyed the damage. Vegetables thawing on the floor, ice cubes melting under the fridge, a rogue chair positioned in front of the freezer. She looked up to the top shelf and saw the box to the ice cream sandwiches, fresh teeth imprints in the box.
“Ralph!” Molly yelled.
On closer inspection, however, she realized nothing was eaten. Well, except maybe for a few ice cubes.
“You wanted an ice cream sandwich that bad, huh, Mr. Ralph?” Molly cooed. She bent down to scratch his ears.
Ralph lifted his head and wagged his tail, giving Molly the biggest puppy eyes he could muster. Suze slinked into the room and rubbed herself against Ralph’s fur as Molly disappeared into the kitchen.
“You just couldn’t wait, could you?” Suze accused.
Ralph gave Suze a quick lick on the head and lifted his dog bed. Underneath was the salmon pink bag of cat treats. Suze rubbed her head against Ralph’s to say thank you.
“Alright, you big goof. We can all share ONE ice cream sandwich,” Molly said as she walked back into the living room. “Together.”